Wednesday 22 August 2012

Terrible Metal Album Covers - Chapter IV

  I love Heavy Metal. I love Metal album covers, even the cheesy ones.If it's got a dragon, a woman in a chainmail bikini or a tank on it then I'm happy. (Someday I hope to find one where a woman in a chainmail bikini, riding a dragon, does battle with a tank.  Betcha the band are German.)
  But some covers you just have to look at and ask..."How did you think this was a good idea? "
      

 Black Hole - Land Of Mystery (Italy 1985)

 I'm guessing there's some sort of hidden message, possibly about The Vatican or the Masons.
 Fools. Don't they know the Milk Marketing Board are secret masters of the Earth? 

earthquake - Theatricals (Sweden 1993)

A sumo wrestler as drawn by Hieronymous Bosch, basically. 


 No Inner Limits - Balance  EP(Germany  1995)

Oh. Rolling the bones. I get it. Still looks like it was drawn by...me. And I suck at art. 

Majesty - Keep It True (Germany 2000)

I quite like this band. They are clearly big fans of Manowar so write a lot of songs with "Metal" in the title. And when I saw them live they were good, old-school, headbanging Metal.
 That's still a crap album cover though.


Hydra Vein - Better Death Than False Of Faith (UK 1988)

Great album title. Pity about the album cover. 

Raising Cain - Crusade (USA 1996)

(This one seems to have been done with MS Paint. By a child)

Sanctions- s/t (USA 1996)

(Nice idea. And if they'd given it to an actual artist it might have worked.) 

That's it for now. I have a folder full of these so expect more dodgy composition, dubious grasp of anatomy and enthusiastic use of crayons. 



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