In place of today's scheduled post, we will be bringing you this important message.
Dear God, Buddah, Simon Cowell or whoever it is that actually controls Britain's weather these days,
Look...whatever we did to piss you off, we're sorry, OK?
Now enough with all the bastard rain already.
Big D and the rest of the United Kingdom.
You know what, while I'm here and in a venting frame of mind...
Dear person who built the bus shelters in Portsmouth Commercial road, specifically the one right outside CEX.
I really appreciate the way you designed it to offer the illusion of shelter while utterly failing to offer any actual protection from the weather. You also cunningly fitted not enough seats for everybody to sit down, just enough lighting to make it (almost) possible to read the bus timetable and I have to admire the way you carefully sculpted the pavement to collect as much water as possible, giving me and fellow travellers the additional joy of splashing about in a big fuck-off puddle.
Give yourself a round of applause and then go eat a bag of goat dicks.
That's all folks.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to peer out of my kitchen window and contemplate the soggy mess that is my back garden.