Monday 17 July 2017

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Big And Beautiful

Evening all.  

  I've been running through my folder Album Covers and I'm alarmed at how big it's become. At a conservative estimate I could post every day for a month and still have stuff left over. 

  The problem is, finding album covers is a lot easier than coming up with themes to use when posting them. I've had some pics sitting around for a couple of years just waiting for another two or three to make up the set.  

 Maybe I should post a bunch of stuff at random and have done?  

Let's call that Plan B.  In the meantime, how about a small selection of album covers that all take the view that bigger is definitely better?  


Necrowerewolf - Ran (Goddess of The Sea) (Russia 2015)

Album cover giant woman  "Heavy metal cover girls"

   I don't care how brave a Viking you are, when a ginormous woman picks you up and starts studying you like this then the fear will flow from your pants in a runny brown stream. 


What. this wasn't what you were expecting from "Big and beautiful"? Well let me point something out to you, old chap.
 1. There are surprisingly few album covers around that feature proper BBWs  
 2. I'm not going to do an entire post about big knockers either. I still have some standards.  

This time around we're doing gods, monsters and the occasional unfortunate reactor accident. OK with that?

Then let's continue.

Necrowerewolf  definitely seem to ahve a thing for plus-sized immortals.  This is an earlier cover. 

Metal cover girl - woman black leather evil.
   While Ran seems bemused by humanity, Hel is clearly less benevolent. And rather bored. 

Necrowerewolf are Black Metal with pagan themes. 


Now here's a similar idea to the "Ran..." cover only this has a Grecian theme to it. 



Brunt- Blackbeard  EP (Guernsey 2016)

album cover sea goddess Heavy Metal cover Girls
When a Sea-goddess tells you to piss off and let her swim in peace, shouting rude things will end badly.

This is the first band I've ever featured from Guernsey. How cool is that?  
If you like Stoner grooves, check these guys out.




Iron Angel -Winds of War (Germany 1986)

Is the bloke cowering from the angry man withe sword?
Or from the giant sky-nipples pointing right at him?

Iron Angel are cult German HM faves.





TenTwentyEight - Umbra Praeteritum (Mexico 2017)


 When the Aztec goddess came back to visit her temple and saw what had happened to it,, she was not happy. 
However, she did spare the staff of Starbucks to be her loyal servants.

This lot are crunchy Thrash.
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The Murder Of My Sweet - Divanity (Sweden 2010)

heavy metal cover girls - beautiful women
Just an ordinary girl one minute, the next you're two storeys tall and the Goddess of Interior Design.
Where do you even find stylish shoes in a size  147 Narrow Fit anyway?

TMOMS are Gothic Metal on the Melodic side.




The Stars Of Fiction - S/T (Canada 2017)

giantess picture

The problem with being a vast, nuclear-powered, alien lifeform is that it's hard to recognise when you're trampling over other people's stuff.  
Or she could be doing it deliberately. What an asshole. 

Stars of Fiction are from the delightful-sounding town of Kamloops
Groovy hard rock? You be the judge.


And to finish, a cover I've been dying to use for simply ages.

Solitaire - Invasion Metropolis (Finland 2006)

giant woman firing missiles from her tits.
A giant, topless woman firing missiles from her tits

Yeah.
This is one of a thousand reasons why I fucking love Heavy Metal.


That's all folks

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